After 10 years of this stepmom gig, I get asked about the best piece of advice I could give other stepmoms. It’s simple, really. Stepmom-hood is all about the little things.
- Let go of the little things.
Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. – Proverbs 19:11
As a stepmom, it is so easy to let circumstances get to you! When something is driving me crazy, I ask myself if it’s a big thing or a little thing. In other words, is it significantly impacting our home long-term, or simply annoying in the moment? For example: blatant disrespect by my stepkids, parental alienation, and withholding visitation are big things – and need to be addressed. On the other hand, your stepkids’ mom rewashing their clothes when they get home, ignoring you at school events, or your stepkids refusing to make their beds? Little things. I’m sure you have a laundry list of things that drive you nuts…but are you letting them steal your joy? If you’re not careful (like me), they can cause friction in your marriage and even bitterness towards your stepkids. Can you join me in trying to let the little things go?
- Embrace the little things.
[Jesus’] mother stored all these things in her heart. – Luke 2:51
Between work, school, extra-curriculars, visitation schedules…stepfamily life can be a hot mess. But you know those moments when you just want to pinch yourself because it’s going so well? Like when the entire family sits down and shares a meal, or you get a hug and “I love you” out of the blue. Maybe it’s a bedtime story or shopping trip with just you and your stepkids, or a sincere “thank you” for cleaning their room. Embrace these moments. Store them away so that when times are rough, you remember why it’s all worth it. The rest of the world may not understand, but to us stepmommas, these little things are treasures.