My stepdaughter recently helped me shop for a formal dress for an event that her dad and I were going to. We have always been fairly close, but even more so now that she is an adult. We had a wonderful time trying on dresses and finally picked out the perfect one. To my surprise, my stepdaughter looked at me and said, “Now I’ve helped you pick out two of your dresses: this one, and your wedding dress.” Her dad and I married when she was 12, and although it was special to me to have her join me at the bridal store, I had no idea how much she cherished the memory until that very moment.
It really got me thinking: how many moments like this have I missed? How many missed opportunities have there been to create special memories with my stepkids? I have mourned not being able to celebrate holidays on the holiday for years, and finally learned to enjoy the birthday “season” (rather than the birthday) when it doesn’t fall on our weekend. But instead on focusing on the memories that we can’t make, how about making a few of our own?
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43:18-19
Stepmoms, we can’t change the past. But God is ready to do a new thing in us and through us! Your stepfamily journey may feel like a desert, a dry husk in comparison to all the newness of a first-time family – but it doesn’t have to be. Embrace new traditions and create new memories! The fondest memories I have with my own parents were not centered around what we were doing, but what we were doing together. I pray that you will find everyday opportunities to connect with your own stepkids.